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Spawned by the women’s movement, changing demographics in higher education, and a brutal recession, men are no longer the primary breadwinners of days gone by. While women have fought for the past thirty years for legitimacy in the workplace, now it is men’s turn to find their place not just at work but in the home. In spite of the gains their spouses have made in the workplace, it is still assumed that women will play the primary role of raising the children. While gender inequity has adversely affected women in many ways (from lower pay to lower expectations to the glass ceiling), it has also made it difficult for men to be recognized as equal contributors as parents.
This study attempts to view and understand, through their eyes, the experience of today’s working fathers in their roles both as worker and parent. The researchers are interested in the career identity and the paternal identity of these new fathers and how the two roles integrate, conflict, and enrich one another.
The analysis of the interview data we collected showed a shift in new father attitudes and behaviors.The men in the study were clearly re-thinking and re-defining traditional gender based roles. They were very happy in their roles as fathers and doing their best to spend time with their children and be good fathers. In many cases the men were not prepared for how much work it can be to take care of a young child. They choose to spend this time with their children, often at the expense of personal activities they previously enjoyed. Often their priorities changed to focus more on family and less on work. In some cases they adjusted their ambitions for professional advancement and career to take into account their new responsibilities and joys. As these new fathers in the study adjusted to this new child in their lives, there were many impacts observed.
Highlights
- The father as a primary (not sole) breadwinner was still an integral component of these fathers’ identities however a good deal of the emphasis was placed on the emotional aspects of being a father.
- Most of the participants focused on their parents and most often their fathers, as their primary role model. In addition to their father’s role modeling, participants also learned a great deal by observing how their parents interacted and shared responsibilities for child rearing and domestic tasks.In addition to parental influence, meanings of good fathering and fatherhood also seemed to be shaped by making comparisons with friends.
- The fathers were profoundly impacted by the birth of their children and expressed nearly universally positive reactions to that event. In addition, there were a number of participants who also experienced fear and anxiety at the same time in regards to the daunting responsibility of caring for and raising their child.
- Fathers were asked to reflect on what they liked best about fatherhood. Their responses focused primarily on the feeling of being a “real” family for the first time, the close emotional bonds they felt with their new child, and having the opportunity to watch their child develop. Among the best aspects, about half of our participants talked about building a loving relationship with another human being.
- Participants were asked what they like least about being a father. Quite a few of the participants raised the issue of simply being tired and that being a father was more work than they expected. The concerns mentioned most often by the study participants were less personal time, little uninterrupted time and less time for other pursuits.
- The research explored the ways in which becoming a father had changed them. For these men, becoming a father was a growing and maturing experience that left them with a higher level of patience and empathy for others. Another effect of fatherhood seems to have been an increase in focus and clarity in priorities. The other thing that fathers emphasized was the way that fatherhood had increased the meaning in their lives, their sense of purpose.
- The study explored how these new fathers and their spouses shared care-giving responsibilities. Most fathers said that they were striving to achieve a 50/50 split in terms of responsibilities for care giving. When asked to rate themselves as a care-giver on a scale of 1-5 (1 being not at all involved and 5 being very involved), the participants rated themselves a 4.16 out of 5 on average. On average the fathers stated that they believed they spent 3.3 hours per workday with their children and in care giving activities.
- Very few fathers are choosing to stay-at-home full-time to raise their children. The participants in the study seemed to reflect this reality of the US workforce. Most participants suggested that they had at least considered the option of being a stay-at-home father. However, only 2 of 33 participants had considered this a realistic possibility.
- For the most part, the fathers in the study found their workplace experiences quite positive. Many fathers had adjusted their schedules and the total number of hours they worked to make more time for their family responsibilities. In general, their bosses and work cultures supported the informal flexibility that they needed. Some found it difficult to combine work and family, primarily because of the number of hours they had to work, often in connection with a demanding job, boss, or office culture.
- More than half of our participants stated that their current roles made it relatively easy to combine work and family. Flexibility was mentioned by most of the participants as being important to successfully combine work and family, in addition to a supportive boss and a supportive culture.
- While a number of fathers suggested that their career aspirations had not changed dramatically, the general sentiment seemed to be that the participants had altered their view of what constituted success.
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